Hello. First of all, my name is Mr Jelly. With an 'e'. If you want Mr Jolly then you've come to the wrong place, he's probably got his own website now as he copies every thing I do. Every single thing I think of, Mr Jolly does it as well.
This is the original, the one, the only Mr Jelly (there is another Mr Jelly on the Isle of Man but I'm not counting him. He's probably dead anyway.)
I have been in the magical world of children's entertainment's for twelve years. I did my apprenticeship under Captain Crackers, (like Birdseye but his beard was black instead of white.) The Captain and I had three great years together until that morning on Bournemouth pier when he slapped a twelve year old who he thought was looking at his willie.
After that I became a Haven mate and did the holiday camps. I did a lot of big box magic and learned how to perform to a crowd who aren't listening. This is a very useful skill when working the childrens' parties. After two years of that I decided I was ready to branch out on my own and Mr Jelly was born.
I had a good run at it, built up my own mini empire and for a time I had a three month waiting list of bookings. Everybody loved Mr Jelly. I admit I made fuck loads!! Then due to overwork – I had to go into hospital for a minor operation on my hand. It was there I lost everything.
But I struggled on (I'm legally not allowed to detail what happened to me) and renamed the act "Mr Jelly and his Hundred Hands". I actually see the incident as a blessing as the act is now more unique. And I don't suppose certain arse holes will be copying me from now on, unless they chop their own fucking hand off.
To give you an idea of what you will get here is a promotional video.
I am also available for: Show compering, Prize-giving, Award Ceremonies, Party hosting, Theme nights.
For my online booking form please click here:
There's not actually a hundred. There's sixteen.
Detailed below are the various acts and packages you can obtain should you book Mr Jelly and his Hundred Hands. Prices are also listed and may be subject to change, depending on if it clashes with my signing on day.
Set sail for the high seas with Mr Jelly the Pirate Buckaneer! A nautical themed party – this event is suitable for boys but I can work a couple of girls in as mermaids, as long as they will wear sea shell bras. (Please note – the bras I use, do scratch). Balloons, magic, bubbles and stories.
Price: Thirty pieces of eight (£95) – most people round it up the £100.
Enter the Fairy kingdom and be Princess for a day. This magical party is mostly for girls but if you know your little boy is bent – then I'll do it exactly the same. (I just have to remember to say "he" instead of "she" at the start. It does incur a £5 supplement to cover my embarrassment). Balloons, magic, bubbles and stories.
Price: £150 – which includes 8 pink balloons, a set of fairy wings and a jam jar full of glitter. You must provide vacuum cleaner – I don't have those kind of attachments.
This jungle themed party usually takes place outside – which means its probably pissing down. I make use of nearby bushes so if you have nettles please stamp them down or have dock leaves at the ready. I cannot be held responsible for any stings. The children are divided into animals and hunters. And the game is to kill the animals and bring back their heads. A prize is given for the person that kills the child wearing the lion head. Some parents have asked me to make sure the birthday boy wins. I will never do this. Do not ask me. Nature is cruel and the laws of the jungle will not be tamed. Balloons, magic, bubbles and stories.
Price: £110 but I keep the masks.
Ideal for Halloween – this spook-tacular ends in a real séance. A dead relative is thought about, probably one of the childrens grand parents (I won't do pets) and we try and communicate with the spirit. Table raps, ghost writing and a materialisation are all available for an extra fee. The children do get a bit shit-up, so you must tell me how far I can go, because I do get carried away with this one. Balloons, magic, bubbles and stories.
Price: £175 for all séance extras.
THIS IS ADULTS ONLY. Lets just say you will not believe some of the attachments I've got for this. The patter is a bit blue, and includes some inoffensive racism. I can do a special saucy trick with the bride-to-be, but please bear in mind its very difficult to take a bra off with one hand and a hook. Panties optional. I can strip all the way down to the red raw stump for a small extra fee. Seeing is believing!! Balloons, magic, dildoes and stories.
Price: £75 plus all my drinks and fags for the night.